Are you holding a grudge, or two, or more? Grudges quickly turn into bitter poison, that if not dealt with, poisons you and the people around you.

“Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” Hebrews 12:15

The writer of Hebrews warns, “Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” So, how does a bitter root start? Bitterness grows in the soil of hurts that haven’t been dealt with.  And, if not dealt with, it continues to grow and absorb, because that’s what roots do. And the more the root absorbs, the more it grows.

1 Corinthians 13 says, “Love keeps no record of wrong.” if someone hurts you and you love them, you forgive them.  You let it go.  You show grace.  You show mercy.  You show compassion.  You show forgiveness. But, bitterness, on the other hand, keeps detailed scorecards. Bitterness produces a poisonous root, that grows and produces poisonous fruit.

Five Qualities of Bitter People

1. Bitter people justify their bitterness.  They say things like, “After what he did to me, I deserve to be angry. In fact, I have the right to be angry and seek revenge.” Because they are victims, they believe they have the right to be ticked off. They tick alright…ticking time bomb.
2. Bitter people become overly critical. Bitter people do not have the ability to look objectively at other people. Bitter people pick apart everything that other people say and do. Bitter people question all motives. I see this all the time in marriages. Your spouse hurt you one time, and for the rest of your life, “He/she can’t do anything right.”  You’re picking him/her apart because you are bitter.
3. Bitter people celebrate the misfortunes of others. When something bad happens to someone that a bitter person is holding a grudge against, the bitter person thinks or says things like, “That’s just God evening the score.” Bitter people take pleasure in seeing this type of hurt.
4. Bitter people tend to write off entire groups of people. I see this in our culture today, people writing off entire groups of people because someone associated with that group, once hurt them, they have written off the entire group.  I experience that level of rejection on occasion when I tell people that I am a pastor. Because of an unresolved hurt by a pastor or church, the bitter person has written off all churches or pastors.
5. Bitter people don’t recognize bitterness when they look in the mirror. They see bitterness in others, but are blinded to their own bitterness. They point it out in others, but cannot see it in themselves.

So, with whom or what are you bitter? ______________________________________________

If you filled in the blank, now, I want you to acknowledge it, and don’t brush it away, but acknowledge it because the longer you let this root grow, the more dangerous it becomes and the more difficult it is to kill. 

How do we kill the root of bitterness?  How do we give God permission to do something that we can’t do, so that we stop the poison from spreading? We kill the root of bitterness with forgiveness.  That’s the only answer.  It’s with forgiveness, and yet, just when I write that, immediately I think to myself there are some of you that have been wounded so deeply you don’t even want to forgive, yet. So, without being trite, I hope this helps.

Paul, in his letter to the Ephesians says, ^“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.  Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:31-32

Get rid of it. Let it go.  Remove it.  Remove it all.  “Forgiving each other just as you have been forgiven.”  How do you kill the root of bitterness?  You kill it with forgiveness. 

Scripture says it.  Ephesians 4:32, “We are forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”   So, someone hurts you. Maybe someone touched you inappropriately. Maybe someone cheated on you. Maybe someone stole from you. Maybe someone gossiped about you. I hear that, and, and I hurt with you.  If you do not forgive them, you will allow them to continue to hurt you, over and over again. With whom or what are you bitter?  You’ve got a choice.  You can keep on drinking the poison and hurting yourself and people all around, or you can put the poison away and go before God and say, “God, would You bring healing? Would You deal with this at the root level, because I’m not going to let this person continue to hurt me.  I’m not going to let this wound continue to affect others.  I want to be changed, healed, and cleansed in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ.  Today, God, by Your power, kill the root of bitterness.” Amen